Comedy 365

The number of businessmen with just the right amount of charisma to front their own television commercials has always been very low indeed.  For every Victor Kiam or Freddie Laker, there are countless Bernard Matthews’, Freddie Barretts, or Joe Williams’.

Even in America, where 82.3%* of salespeople think they have what it takes to be a movie star, television viewers are well accustomed to seeing their local car dealer or department store owner addressing them directly to camera.

In a previous life, this writer used to produce local radio commercials, and always got a shiver where he shouldn’t whenever any client intimated that he or she wouldn’t mind a crack at writing and performing their own copy.

I therefore cannot imagine what I would have done if I was approached by a gentleman such as the one you are about to watch. He runs a flea market in Montgomery, Alabama, and would like to get the fact across to you via the medium of rap.

This commercial is, by a long chalk, the worst I have ever seen and probably wouldn’t be improved even if Cameo singer Larry Blackmon himself appeared (avec codpiece, naturally) to assume the vocal duties.  (And those eyes…what has he done to his eyes???)

Our apologies to subscribers in Alabama (if we have any), who must be sick to death of this ad by now.

*statistic utterly unreliable